Sunday, October 4, 2009

the F word

yeah, as in Frost - oooo scary! Spike Spinach still here, but sometimes I wonder how long I can stick around this place after what I saw last week. Okay, so they gets this Frost warning and they starts runnin' around like th' sky was fallin'. They start pullin' out all this crazy cover stuff and it looks like they was trying to wrap up the whole blinkin' farm! Well, almost the whole farm - they did not, I am proud to say, need to put even a shred of pro-tective type cover stuff on my crew in the spinach patch. Here's the proof - and they's comin' along nicely - rain, shine or F!

What the frog farmers seemed most worried about was, you guessed it, the pampered darlin's of this here spread - the lettuce patch. Now we been here before when I had to witness the embarrassin' lengths they go to in the spring to keep ther preshus poppets all warm and cozy.(May 15, 2008 Frog Log if ya want a little helpful educashun) But man, like them plants is all grown up now - can't they take care of themselves?

Well, I guess not. Here's th' evidence - Angie, a perfeckly nice girl bamboozled into happily tuckin' the lazy lettuces into ther speshul beds. I mean, like th' lettuce can handle some cold weather I heard, but them frog farmers wasn't takin' any chances in case the butterball heads decide to throw a tantrum and get ther leaves all withery. I seen a frosted up lettuce and it ain't pretty, but sheez, the coddlin' they need. Come on! So here's more of the crew stoppin' what they been doin' on a perfeckly nice work day so they could gussy up another lettuce patch. Seems like we're turnin' into a gosh darn spa 'stead of a farm, but I didn't say nuthin'.

I just headed up to see my pals in the spinach patch. We shot the cool breeze for while, tellin' lettuce jokes while we watched the pitiful show. I can't repeat most of the jokes, but here's one:

Question: What did the pious pesticide farmer say when he saw holes in his Romaine?
Answer: Lettuce spray!

Oh man, that one had us rollin' in the rows! The lettuces started whinin' that we was keepin' 'em up and ruinin' ther beauty sleep so we lobbed a few spinach balls onto ther fancy blankets and lissened to 'em bawl - thought they was gettin' hailed on. I tell you - high maintenance or what?

Course, ya' know it's all just good natured joshin'. I likes to tease the lettuces, but they ain't really so bad. We hang out in salads together sometimes and get along fine. But if we want to talk coddlin', let's head over to the basil patch. The frog farmers built a gosh darned castle for those hothouse beauties! First the hoops to keep the plastic from touching the precious leaves. Then the cover stuff carefully spread over the patch. THEN a giant roll of thick plastic over the whole contraption. Now I think I seen everything!

Okay, so everything made it through okay. Well, the basil are a little grumpy and don't look so hot. I can't really understand ther accents but it sounds like they's shippin' out to some place like southern Italy or the French riviera or somethin' and I say good riddance (or aw revwahr). At this point they is way too much trouble than they is worth, (IMHO. But I don't say nothin').

After all, it is October. An' we are in Michigan. The air is crisp - the moon is bright - an' I'm headin' out to have a frostin' good time.

Stay cool!

Holler Fest 2016
August 26-28